Confessions of an Inattentive Paritioner

I don't think anything beats the Bible story about the young man who fell asleep during the apostle Paul's all night sermon, causing him to fall out a three story window to his death. Then Paul brings him back to life and goes back to talking a few more hours. (Acts 20:7-12)

So let that be a lesson of graciousness to you pastors who get annoyed at the non-riveted folks.


I was once the ADD Bible Turner.
The pastor of a church I used to attend would have the congregation read through a passage of scripture with him before he expounded on it for the sermon.

Well... often times a few verses wasn't enough. I'd think, "Hey, why'd we stop at this verse? This passage is just getting interesting." So I would continue reading through my Bible with sermon in progress. Then I'd think, "Hey, I know another good passage that works well with this one!" and start flipping through the pages of my Bible. Then I'd read all the cross-references and notes (since it was a study Bible). Then I'd start writing some thoughts and ideas about it all which I would classify as 'sermon notes that were not included in the sermon.'

I guess some medical treatment could have helped with my focus back then. But I was single and had no wife to nag me to go to the hospital. And I'm one of those guys who doesn't feel like he needs to see a doctor for every little thing. For example, last week I got slightly impaled by a wrought iron fence while attempting to jump it with a dirt bike. It took a couple rolls of duct tape to eventually stop the bleeding and some of my friends insisted on an ambulance. But the way I see it is that any accident you can eventually walk away from is nothing to get all worked up over. On the other hand, there are a lot of pansy dudes who do things like get a hand stuck in the meat grinder and then feel like they need to rush to the hospital. My thought is, "Hey, you lost your hand to a meat grinder. It's not like the doctor can re-attach it or anything. Make a tourniquet so you're not making a mess everywhere, take a couple aspirin, and sleep it off. I mean seriously, if Rambo can take on some heavy wounds, cauterize them, and then get back to wiping out an entire small army, you should be fine after a little bit of rest... after cleaning up the mess you made." It's hypochondriacs like that who rush to the doctor for every little thing that drive me nuts. That's what drives the health insurance rates up to begin with and forces our society into a precarious position where we have to consider gov't controlled health care as a viable option.

Wait a second... how'd I get on the topic of Obama Care? Wasn't the topic orginally about... HEY LOOK, A SQUIRREL!...