I'm always slightly uncomfortable talking to a married woman when her husband isn't around so I created a checklist for myself.

1. Stand at least 72 inches apart so in the event of an earthquake neither party will land on top of the other and look incriminating.

2. Display slight irritation or boredom no matter how interesting the conversation is, even if she's talking about football, war stories, or comic books. Believe me, looking interested = "looking interested".

3. End every sentence with "...and I'm totally not hitting on you."

Examples:
"What did you think of the pastor's sermon?... and I'm totally not hitting on you."
"Your kid behaved wonderfully in Sunday school this morning... and I'm totally not hitting on you."

Why I Don't Gamble Anymore

I used to play some $20 poker but had to give it up due to the vicious emotional cycle it always put me in.

Phase 1: "I can afford to lose twenty bucks this week. It won't really put a wrinkle in my budget.

Phase 2: I'm winning! Well this is rather enjoyable. That's a decent amount of money in the pot. I may just decide to spend my winnings on these on these losers as a kind gesture. After all, I wasn't really expecting to come into this money in the first place.

Phase 3: "NOOOO!!!!!! How did I lose? My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?!? Someone obviously cheated! I was planning on putting away the winnings for my kid's college trust fund. Wait, that means this guy cheated my kid out of a good education and a prosperous life. I bet he's gonna blow the money on something stupid like printed t-shirts of 80's "hair bands" or lots of booze. That selfish near-sighted cheater ruined my life!"

...which is why I don't gamble any more.

Christian "Single and Looking" Internet Scorecard

1. Hopeful e-mail address such as:
JasonandToBeNamedAtALaterDate@yahoo.com = +2 points

2a. Facebook profile picture is of you sitting alone and reading the Bible on a park bench built for two with a sunset and the beach in the background. = +2 points (why do I feel like Rick Warren has a copyright on this type of picture?)

2b. Facebook profile picture is of the engagement ring selection at the local jewelry store = +3 points

2c. Caption under previously mentioned Facebook profile picture says, "Pick one." = +5 points

3a. In the "favorite books" section of your profile you list something by Jane Austen. = +10 points

3b. You also list "Focus On the Family" books to let women know you're prepared for the long haul. = +5 points

3c. You also list books on cooking and home repair to boost your market value. = +5 points

4a. In your blog or Facebook list of "favorite links" you have a bridal boutique on the list. = +5 points

4b. If links to Kay Arthur's or Elisabeth Elliot's post make the list... = +3 points

4c. A recurring Twitter post you have is, "still praying for 'something good' to come my way." + 1 point.

5a. Under "favorite activities" you say, "Cooking dinner for my pastor and his wife on Saturday evenings and then listening to them talk about what makes their marriage work late into the evening." = +10 points

5b. You also mention Broadway musicals or opera. = +3 points

5c. You also mention that you like to take long drives through wine valley vineyards on Sunday. = +6 points

6a. You open e-mails to single women with, "To my most beloved sister in Christ," = +2 points

6b. You close your e-mails to single women with, "Remember to pray for the orphan child in Africa that I'm sponsoring," = +4 points

6c. You attach html graphics to your e-mail from the World Wildlife Foundation that shows panda bears or baby tigers cuddling. = +6 points

Confessions of an Inattentive Paritioner

I don't think anything beats the Bible story about the young man who fell asleep during the apostle Paul's all night sermon, causing him to fall out a three story window to his death. Then Paul brings him back to life and goes back to talking a few more hours. (Acts 20:7-12)

So let that be a lesson of graciousness to you pastors who get annoyed at the non-riveted folks.


I was once the ADD Bible Turner.
The pastor of a church I used to attend would have the congregation read through a passage of scripture with him before he expounded on it for the sermon.

Well... often times a few verses wasn't enough. I'd think, "Hey, why'd we stop at this verse? This passage is just getting interesting." So I would continue reading through my Bible with sermon in progress. Then I'd think, "Hey, I know another good passage that works well with this one!" and start flipping through the pages of my Bible. Then I'd read all the cross-references and notes (since it was a study Bible). Then I'd start writing some thoughts and ideas about it all which I would classify as 'sermon notes that were not included in the sermon.'

I guess some medical treatment could have helped with my focus back then. But I was single and had no wife to nag me to go to the hospital. And I'm one of those guys who doesn't feel like he needs to see a doctor for every little thing. For example, last week I got slightly impaled by a wrought iron fence while attempting to jump it with a dirt bike. It took a couple rolls of duct tape to eventually stop the bleeding and some of my friends insisted on an ambulance. But the way I see it is that any accident you can eventually walk away from is nothing to get all worked up over. On the other hand, there are a lot of pansy dudes who do things like get a hand stuck in the meat grinder and then feel like they need to rush to the hospital. My thought is, "Hey, you lost your hand to a meat grinder. It's not like the doctor can re-attach it or anything. Make a tourniquet so you're not making a mess everywhere, take a couple aspirin, and sleep it off. I mean seriously, if Rambo can take on some heavy wounds, cauterize them, and then get back to wiping out an entire small army, you should be fine after a little bit of rest... after cleaning up the mess you made." It's hypochondriacs like that who rush to the doctor for every little thing that drive me nuts. That's what drives the health insurance rates up to begin with and forces our society into a precarious position where we have to consider gov't controlled health care as a viable option.

Wait a second... how'd I get on the topic of Obama Care? Wasn't the topic orginally about... HEY LOOK, A SQUIRREL!...

Is it cool

Is it cool with you that I pray to God
for Him to give me strength
to love you unconditionally?
Even your hate and your fear
your laughter and tears
they're all drawing me near
When your life falls apart
can I sit next to you
and enjoy the tragic art?
Because there's a peace in the pain
There's life in the rain
Only when everything's dismantled
can life start to change

"Its these times that I could kiss you
Its these times when youre asleep
Its these times you feel so dirty
Its these times you feel so cheap
Its these times when youre the loser
The times youre gabbing on the phone
Its these times youre singing love songs
Its these times youre all alone
Its these times when youre the victim
Its these times when youre the saint
Its these times when youre the bad guy
Whos inflicting all the pain
Its these times you sail the ocean
The times you wash up on the shore
Its these times you feed the hungry
Its these times you rob the poor
Its these times you burn the house down
Its these times youre getting burned
Its these times you do the right thing
Its these times you never learn
Its these times that you deny me
And ignore everything Ive done
Its these times you crucify me
Its these times youre still my son
Its these times I love you
Its these times I love you
Its these times I love you
Its these times I love you" ~the Normals

Looking at Fall with a new paradigm

Today a pair of hummingbirds chased each other across the roof-tops, tree frogs played peek-a-boo with us while traveling through a lush lawn and I tried to avoid the seasonal migration of wooly caterpillars crossing rural county roads while speeding along in my eleven ton truck. It's easy to take for grantite the beauty of creation when the moralistic gospel is bearing down on a person's heart, much as it has done to mine until recently.

The moralist's mind can be so chiefly occupied with fixating on the darker side of life; the sins, temptations, and inherent weaknesses within himself that He desires mainly a life of abstaining. He credits himself as righteous for avoiding all the things he think may lead to death but ironically becomes dead in so doing. Because much like the moralist, a corpse avoids doing anything wrong, but of course, a corpse does no good to the glory of God either.

The man who centers his faith on the gospel, the good news that liberates us to freely pursue the pleasures of God and all that God has created for us to enjoy, avoids the trappings of death not by fixating on them. He chases after the greater option. He's not pre-occupied with slapping his own hand away from what is wrong because his hands are already busy with what is right.

The landscape of the United States has been dominated by moralists/legalists determined and even obsessed to define, categorize, and label every possible human behavior as either right or wrong. It is no wonder the U.S. Library of Congress is the largest library in the world and is yet being added to on a daily basis, and yet there is so much corruption still. The liberating gospel gives but one Word, one Law, and one Book (that needs no ammending) that man may use to govern himself.

Breathe ~ Anberlin
This is surrender
to a wartorn life i've lived
scars and stripes forever
in need of change i can't resist

no need to hide anything anymore
cant return to who i was before

i can finally breathe
suddenly alive
i can finally move
the world feels revived

this long of a struggle
finally opened up my eyes
revolutions not easy
with a civil war on the inside

no need to hide anything anymore
cant return to who i was before

i can finally breathe
suddenly alive
i can finally move
cause I realise

i can finally breathe
suddenly alive
i can finally move
the world feels revived

The Joy of Controversy

Outside the Bible, my favorite start to any chapter is this:



"Can controversial teachings nurture Christlikeness? Before you answer this question, ask onother one: Are there any significant biblical teachings that have not been controversial? I cannot think of even one, let alone the number we all need for the daily nurture of faith. If this is true, then we have no choice but to seek our food in the markets of controversy. We need not stay here. We can go home and feast if the day has been well spent. But we must buy there. As much as we would like it, we do not have the luxury of living in a world where the most nourishing truths are unopposed. If we think we can suspend judgment on all that is controversial and feed our souls only on what is left, we are living in a dreamworld. There is nothing left. The reason any of us thinks we can stand alone on truths that are noncontroversial is because we do not know our history of the diversity of the professing church. Besides that, would we really want to give to the devil the right to determine our spiritual menu by refusing to eat any teaching over which he can cause controversy?" ~John Piper, The Pleasures of God, ch.5

There's a beauty in knowing the truths of scripture are too great for any one man to comprehend. One of the reasons we have different members of the body of Christ with different backgrounds and experiences is so that we come to scripture with our varying paradigms, seeing pieces of the truth of scripture in different light. Then we must take our understandings before our brothers and sisters in Christ so that they may be met with the controversy of challenges , testing and further illumination of scripture. From this we remove some of our muddled humanness from our doctrines and principles, and theories bringing us closer to the absolute truths of God. The members of the body of Christ, among other things, are made to help cultivate our Holiness for God. Controversy and challenges should serve as an exercise to help us grow strong in the Lord.

It is to our own fault we do not always appreciate the art of arguments and let our personal pride ruin what was intended for good. What is equally troubling is when we become too agreeable and avoid the art.

Prov. 27:6 "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy."

Prov. 25:12 "Like a gold ring or an ornament of gold is a wise reprover to a listening ear."

Prov. 24:6b " for by wise guidance you can wage war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory." In the multitude of counsellors there is safety, for one may foresee the danger, and discern the advantages, which another cannot. In our spiritual conflicts we need wisdom, for our enemy is subtle. ~Matthew Henry commentary